Time to break it down (thanks for your help and prompting, my friend!)

Be fairly warned – i am going to unapologeticly put my interpretation and  CRISSCOLFER the crap out of this – if not your thing – just move on by

This is my blog and my tag – and I will post what I want – and proudly earn my new tag/title “relentless”

Darren said it best when he referred to this song as a love letter.

It was the culmination of  the  best and worst 5 years of his life.

He was living a  dream he never would have thought he could achieve

while simultaneously experiencing the nightmare that comes along for the journey sometimes

Quick note about the lyrics – the word “I” is used 40 (that’s FORTY) TIMES!

in a song that is just under 5 minutes long

he used the term “I” an average of every 7 seconds

this song – is VERY personal – and very much about Darren

These walls and all these picture frames

Darren is
known to be a collector of memories – he is seen with his phone often
and capturing moments in his life he does not want to forget. 

It is cathartic when you walk amongst a place that you must leave behind as the memories flood your mind

Darren , being a memory collector – will visit and see them often in his mind and through his collected frames.

Every name they show

It is not uncommon for a cast to sign
the backs of walls on a set – and clearly he could also be talking
metaphorically – there was a time when Cory’s plaque was also shifted –
and this line reminded me of Cory also


These halls I’ve walked a thousand times


within the show that he performed his way through


The control taken over in his real life – that he lived through


And the times when his real world and the show would overlap and blur


not always in sad ways


and valentines,


I believe when asked years from now – his favorite memory/song/moment – it will always come back to “Teenage Dream”

the song that launched him into fame – its the first song he sang to
Chris – It’s clearly a song that holds A LOT  of meaning for him. It
draws out incredible joy (almost every performance we have seen of it) –
and agonizing, soul wrenching pain (Toronto)

It’s a song that defines him and his life in many ways

loves it when he is allowed to sing it alone in concert (in facts fans
recognize his need here and try to encourage and respect that) He
refuses to make fun of it  – remember this interview where he made silly
fun of other songs he had sung but refused (by laying coy) when it came
to teenage Dream…


friends of mine all know


I look at everything I was

He was young, naive, eager and hopeful. there was an exuberance that shined through all he did.


It wasn’t wrong – it was what made Darren –  well, Darren

but it was easily taken advantage of – and molded him into a commodity to be controlled

And everything I ever loved

He was pushed away from so much that he loved. Time for Starkids was pushed out of his life. His belief system of who he was – and the choices he wanted to make for himself – were challenged to his very core (and I am not just talking about his sexuality)

He believes these words – he found out it’s not always true every second of every day


And I can see how much I’ve grown

He has matured – he has
stood up for himself – he has fought for the love of his life. They may
not have won many of the battles – but the final victory will be theirs.

And though the mirror doesn’t see it

Outward appearances – the reflection – what others see when looking at him

It’s clear to me, I feel it

He recognizes in himself who
he is – what he wants and where he is going. It may not show on the
outside yet – but it will – he believes.

I can make it on my own

Taking the reigns of his future into his own hands

I’m not afraid of moving on and letting go

Time to step
away from all that he thought he needed to make it – and grasp onto the
things he knows will actually get him there – as he wants to be

It’s just so hard to say goodbye to what I know, I know

security can come from the familiar. Letting it go is taking a chance

This time no one’s gonna say goodbye


I keep you in this heart of mine

This time I know it’s never over

The fear of losing all that means everything – the insecurities that play when your life is being treated like a game


No matter who or what I am

I’ll carry where we all began

notice the switch and the use of “we” now

the journey now includes  someone – when it gets to the core – the journey is about more than him


This time that we had, I will hold forever

Someone who is pivotal and never to be forgotten – from the first hello – every memory is cherished and held


This old familiar place is

Where every face is another part of me

Every person who has played a part in his life – and molded him into the person he is – for better or worse

I played a different game then

He played to please with wide innocent eyes

They called me a different name then

How “they” saw him – and tagged/labeled him – is not how he will be tagged/labeled again

I think of all the things I did and how I wish I knew what I know now

So many life lessons learned and achieved personally and professionally.

I see how far I’ve come and what I got right

It wasn’t all mistakes – it wasn’t all a mess. but the journey has brought him to a whole new level in his life

When I was looking for that spotlight (”starlight”)

At the Paris concert – Darren changed the word spotlight to starlight.

Sure it could have been an accident – but what if it wasn’t.

What if Starlight was the original word -and he changed it to spotlight to suit Rachel (which it did)

So, now apply it to Darren.  he knows he will always crave a spotlight, but that he is OK with
not being the “star”. He got over that, he’s more than a “trophy on a
shelf” for his PR. Darren met someone that he considers the true “star”
of his life, he doesn’t have to reach anymore. Chris loves him for just
who he is.

I was looking for myself

When Darren came
to glee – He was early 20′s – most are still on a quest to really figure
out who they are. Darren is no different. he was taken on an unexpected
Journey – and he has found himself –  he knows who he is – and never
again will he let anyone define him.


Got over what I was afraid of

There are so many options here – and potentially ALL apply in the life of a young adult male.

Afraid of failure and equally Afraid of success

Afraid of truly and without reserve opening yourself up to another and
becoming completely and totally vulnerable to that person.

I showed ‘em all that I was made of

It’s been said many
times that Darren is a pleaser he wants people to like him – genuinely
like him. as a result – he will frequently agree or go along with
something he may not necessarily want himself.

when he found that one ting worth fighting for – and not giving up on – did he fight?!

and Darren have stood by each other –  I woudl imagine things have
occurred that we may never know about publicly – but for them to survive
through all they did – they had to fight for it.


More than trophies on a shelf

Blaine: “You did win. So did I. We got each other out of all this. That beats a lousy trophy, don’t you think?”


The irony of the line from the show and how it mimics real life again.

l’m Sure Darren has dreams of the accolades and trophies – (what performer doesn’t want to be recognized for their work – and even non performers) but Darren has realized – to be a trophy himself – is not the real prize

he wants to be recognized for his body of work – not his private life

For all the battles that we lost or might have won

there have been many – long fought and hard battles – many lost – and hopefully they gave them enough hell – that some were won

in the end – they have each other to love and hold – and that is what counts

interesting comparison, “I don’t mind” has the term “I” used 16 times
in a song that was just over 2 minutes in length – again approx every 8
seconds – again highly personal!)

I never stopped believing in the words we sung,

Kurt and Blaine…make beautiful music together TheBacklot
|November 28, 2011



we sung


This time no one’s gonna say goodbye


Kurt:”Yes, we
gonna be all right. I told you, I’m never saying goodbye to you. We’ll
figure out this whole long-distance relationship thing. I promise.

I keep you in this heart of mine

This time I know it’s never over


No matter who or what I am

I’ll carry where we all began


This time that we had, I will hold 


…… forever

I’m looking out from the crossroads

A new path is before him – the time of change is here

I don’t know how far away I will roll

The change has the potential to take him far from what he knows

I take a breath, I close my eyes

Fear is all encompassing and he is scared of what it all means

Your voice will carry me home


There is ONE voice that he will focus on – ONE that he KNOWS without
fail will not just be there – but will carry him when he is most

He puts such emphasis on the word “home”

it is home that he longs for – but his home isn’t a place – it is not his career –

it is the one –  the voice – the never failing lover –  that has and will continue to carry him.

I keep you in this heart of mine

This time I know it’s never over


No matter who or what I am

I’ll carry where we all began

This time that we had, I will hold


This time that we had, I will hold


This time that we had, I will hold




Forever …


Somehow, he remained intensely grateful and sees all the good that came out of his time on Glee (the non documentary)

deserves so much more credit for what he has already endured – what he
will endure in the future (the sure backlash of all the PR stunts) – how
he showed more character, strength, honesty and conviction to his
craft, his fans through it all.

mleigh69 relentless 😉


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